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Jonas Brothers On Tour by Rockcom
Mistake them for actual musicians (rather than the corporate shills they are), during scheduled stops in Idaho, North Carolina, and Missouri.rock.com
U2 On Tour by Rockcom
U2 have begun unveiling dates for their massive world tour, which will undoubtedly sell out at every location much like they have. Pay exorbitant amounts of money to watch Bono and company ironically raise a fuss over poverty and world hunger, during scheduled stops in Barcelona, Spain, Paris, France, and Berlin, Germany.rock.com
Offspring On Tour by Rockcom
Having already embarked on a massive world tour just last year, the Offspring have decided to give it another go around with a full scale invasion of North America. The pop punk foursome will artificially increase your testosterone levels at the Nokia Theatre in Dallas and Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Colorado.
Metallica On Tour by Rockcom
Metallica will continue to tour in support of their latest album Death Magnetic, after announcing a slew of new dates in the United States and Canada.
James Hetfield and company will undoubtedly punish your eardrums during scheduled stops in Indianapolis, Montreal, and Ottawa.rock.com
AC/DC On Tour Again by Sam
AC/DC will continue to ride the Black Ice wave of success, after extending their already massive North American tour by another ten dates. Catch the Walmart favorites at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Giants Stadium in Rutherford, and the Staples Center in Los Angeles.rock.com
Carlos Santana On Tour by Sam
The aforementioned Carlos Santana has pulled an Elton John and signed a multi-year contract to perform at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.The famed guitarist will begin his residency on May 27, with ticket prices ranging from $79 to $299.ROCK.COM Santana Has A Dream…
Carlos Santana thinks humanity would be better served with the legalization of marijuana and envisions a time when people of all races and creeds can gather in parent’s basements across America to watch Up In Smoke with no fear of criminal prosecution. “Legalize marijuana and take all that money and invest it in teachers and in education,” Santana said in an interview with a talking dog. “You will see a transformation in America.”
According to Santana, the continued criminalization of marijuana use parallels the Federal Government’s misguided attempt to outlaw alcohol during the 1920’s.
“[It’s] really way overdue, like the prohibition with the alcohol and stuff like that,” he said eloquently.
The legendary guitarist then used the platform to launch a thinly veiled attack against California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“I really believe that as soon as we legalize and decriminalize marijuana we can actually afford a really good governor who won’t keep taking money away from education and from teachers and send him back to Hollywood where he can do ‘D’ movies and we can get an ‘A’ governor,” Santana said.
When asked about retirement, Santana admitted to having a direct phone line to God, which he uses regularly to stay in contact with his BFF.
“God was cracking up. He thought it was a good joke,” he said, with eyes presumably half glazed over. “So I said, ‘Okay.’ Every time I want to make him laugh I tell him my plans. So we’ll see.”
Santana then stared at the back of his hand for an hour and asked if, “Anyone else was hungry.”
Okay, so I made that last part up.taken from rock.com
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